restless

I've grown restless, as has the sea.

alive

Our emotions serve great purpose; they are the strength and the weakness, they allow expression of ones innermost identity, while their presence testifies that we are still alive.

A friend of mine was telling me her grandma’s notable, yet challenging life story. She survived World War II, saw her best friend killed, and later discovered her husband had been unfaithful. Recently, being frail and lonely, she attempted suicide.

I think of my great-grandpa who is still alive and thriving at the age of 92, and all the stories he shares with me about his youth are mostly anecdotes of the war. It is hard to relate to these memories of his, especially when they are embedded with loss.  

He is a stubborn old man, who cannot finish a sentence without somehow implementing “Goddamn it” as a way of further proving his point. He remembers being deported here on Oahu, many years ago, and can still remember the exact address of his home here on the Island, which beach it was near, and the fact there was no strip mall bordering the shoreline.

As I listen to these stories and attempt to comprehend their individual situations and trials, it all seems fictitious.It is hard, at times, to see the big picture and realize how blessed we all really are.

Another good friend of mine brought up the fact that he has lived a life where he’s been able to eat three meals a day—this amazes him—when so many all over the world are barely able to scrounge a meal a week.Sometimes I catch myself complaining or getting down on myself about the smallest issues/problems, which to the majority of the world would be laughable.

I feel that everyone has moments when the natural emotion of sadness overcomes them, regardless of what exactly their current situation is. Those who have no real problems to worry about, feel the need to worry about the small insignificant things because it justifies this innate feeling of sadness. Many think that feeling sad is a bad thing, or that it somehow needs to be remedied. I disagree; we feel these things to remind us that we are alive, living, breathing creatures; that we have the ability to be compassionate, empathetic, sorrowful, and with that, joyful.

2 Nephi 2: 23 “…having no joy for they knew no misery: doing no good, for they knew no sin” 

I have learned to acknowledge these emotions and allowed them to resonate within me; these emotions are my soul speaking to my body letting me know that I am still alive.

[St. Paul] told us to be not only "as harmless as doves," but also "as wise as serpents." 
-C.S. Lewis

bedhead

"You can fool all the people some of the time. You can even fool some of the people all of the time. But you can't fool all of the people all the time." -Abraham Lincoln

I chose this picture of Abe because all the others portray him as a stiff, bearded man with a neat comb-over. This photograph seems more like the true Abe-a real man, bedhead and all.

constant battle

A group of my friends were discussing life decisions and having the ability to find the balance between realism and spiritualism. We came to this conclusion: 

If you follow your heart, logic will eventually find its place; if you choose logic, your heart may never follow.

                  

“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.” -Richard Howard

  

Where I'm From

I am from the swing on Maddie Road,

From salty air and sand in my toes

I am from play dough stuck on the table

(sticky and tempting to eat)

I am from bougainvillea blooming on the porch,

the red like crimson scarlets its way around the fence

Like my ever growing twisted life

I am from grandmas Little Cafe

From chicken tacos and apple pie

I am from no you can't and yes you can

From shut up and I love you

I'm from moving boxes and packing tape

And a new found home where i'd hope to fit in great

I'm from many mothers, many fathers, and many friends

From Moondogies, Pismo Beach, and surfers without a leash

From Micky Mouse and Looney tunes and good old papa bear watching over Baloo

Down in the basement sit suitcases full of Barbie toys

Baby Barbie, teenage Barbie, and one day adult Barbie

There are outfits of old and outfits of new

I am from Birthday cards

From love on paper and tears in an envelope

I am from a life rubbed raw and a room of cards filled with memories

And there are still cards to be written

2010

like a dream to me...

It's so strange how listening to certain artists/songs/albums bring back memories which you thought were forgotten. The best ones are those you didn't even realize you had stored up there, but randomly come flooding back.

Madonna, especially these two songs, just did this to me.

I can still feel the fabric seats of my Ma's Honda Civic, smell the coffee on her breath as I watch her hot cup spilling while we turn a corner, I can see the blue cover of Madonna's "Ray of Light" album, and hear the songs blasting as I am being dropped off at school, lunch box in hand.

Pop

I have a real special relationship with my father- one that most do not quite understand. My father and I are a lot alike, its strange how much I am my fathers daughter. Since my parents had me at the young age of 19, it seemed as though I was growing up with them- experiencing and discovering the same wonders of life. 

              

One thing I love most about my pop is that he can always tell when something is up, especially with me. Every time I am anxious and stubbornly denying that I am, he grabs my hands so see if my palms are sweaty. Many of my greatest memories and lessons learned are those which I have shared with him. He sent me off to college over a year ago with this advice, --

 "Remember the simple things, don't stress because 86% of things we worry about never happen, and last but not least, smile...it makes everything fall into place." 

Today is my Pop's birthday. My pop is quite a strange bird, always trying to please others. Every May, when it is my day to celebrate, he always stresses about what he can do to make it the best one yet. In turn, I always stress about what I can do for him that will, in the least, express gratitude. 

Untitled

I thank you for my anxiousness 

I thank you for my small bone structure 

I thank you for my ability to read people

and to speak my mind 

I thank you for my health

I thank you for my steadfastness

and desire to learn 

I am grateful for my nose

my big ears

my Flintstones tones

and yes, my buck teeth

I am thankful for you

and all you are 

no-frills

                   

Something about this video invigorates me. It may be the empty, never ending road, the lonely trees, Angus's whistling, the fact that it's lyrically endearing and reminds me of when I was young being walked by my uncles barefoot along railroad tracks, or the kumbaya and dancing 'round the camp fire. Regardless of what exactly it is, I now know exactly what my heart desires.

The enigmatic life I long to live is full of adventures and lightly sprinkled with rationalism. Why not pack up an old RV and explore into the unknown country roads? Why not embrace the joys that come from sweet simplicity?

Wherever I'll go, I'll take a bit of it with me. So much of the world is patiently waiting to be captured in brief, yet beautiful moments of appreciation.

Ethan Burnes

the island of capri

Not too far off the Almafi Coast lies the alluring Island of Capri. My dad and I rented a small boat, and set off into the electric blue- the Mediterranean Sea. There was hardly anyone else out at sea except a few yachts and the occasional fisherman catching our dinner. 

There is something so unique about the Mediterranean, the people of Italy are so passionate about the traditions of their ancestors. No butter...ever (I almost died, bread with no butter?), olive oil then salt... never the other way around, no carpets...fear of germs and the plague happening again, always wear shoes when outside...pshh yeah, right. 

constant conversations

Passion Pit - Constant Conversations (St. Lucia Remix) 

underwater goddess

Amphitrite - underwater goddess from Damien Krisl on Vimeo.

I attended the La Jolla Fashion Film Festival, which was much more amazing and inspirational than I thought it would be. This is one of my favorite films from the last three days of viewing. 

"In ancient Greek mythology, Amphitrite was a sea-goddess and wife of Poseidon. Under the influence of the Olympian pantheon, she became merely the consort of Poseidon, and was further diminished by poets to a symbolic representation of the sea."

facing.

Facing. from Naq Lee on Vimeo.

Pull&Bear . SS 2012 Campaign from Pull&Bear on Vimeo.

rill rill

One of my favorite photographers, Marcelo Gomes,  took some really beautiful pictures of  Sleigh Bells. The band's music is quite unusual, which will definitely take an acquiring of taste to appreciate. Rill Rill and

Riot Rhythm, in my opinion, are the best of the bunch.

life aquatic

                                          Great scene, great song.

weights & measures

alive

 

“One day, as he slept in a cave, he dreamed that he saw his own body sleeping. He came out of the cave on the night of a new moon. The sky was clear, and he could see millions of stars. Then something happened inside of him that transformed his life forever. He looked at his hands, he felt his body, and he heard his own voice say. "I am made of light, I am made of stars."

He looked at the stars again, and he realized that it's not the stars that create the light, but rather the light that creates the stars. "Everything is made of light," he said, "and the space in-between isn't empty." And he knew that everything that exists is one living being, and that light is the messenger of life, because it is alive and contains all information.”

 Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

"So Lonesome"

fulfillment

Hawaii, Fall 2011

As individuals, we tend to think independently while relying on ourselves for most temporal needs; it is others that we forget to rely on. There is such a lack of fulfillment when we do it all on our own, sure it shows strength, but never satisfaction. It is like eating a hamburger patty, which is substantial enough to keep you going, but without the bun, lettuce, sauce, cheese, tomatoes, and onions...well, its just not nearly as fun. Such as life; its not nearly as fun without others. Sharing moments and experiences with the beautiful people around you makes for one tasty burger. 

the pirate sure can sing

barefoot

                        Photo by Christie Pham


Even when I was a kid, shoes were of little importance, especially when embarking on an adventure; being barefoot always took precedence over safety.  Sure, the whole "hippie" pizazz is quite the trend these days, but that is merely unrecognizable to a 4 year old. One of the many great things about living in Hawaii is the fact that being barefoot in public is widely accepted, unlike the rest of the world. In Italy, if you are barefoot in public, people being mildly confused is an understatement. Well, I'm sorry that I appreciate the simpler things in life, like the feeling of the warm pavement, grass, and sand beneath my feet.

acoustic mood

thanks monkey

romanticism

The emergence of romanticism was the first real movement of irrationality in regards to love, literature, and individualism. It allowed for people to express themselves through pure emotion and inspiration. Since then, this idea of romanticism has dramatically changed. What ever happened to the imagination being the creator of our destiny?

My grandparents were, and still are, so madly in love with each other. Not having much, they set off on a life long adventure. True love, the kind where all you need is a couple of fishing poles, hope, and a little bit of crazy.

For generations my family has acted on behalf of love; we can't help it.

Cut the ropes. Shout your beliefs to the world. Be passionate about what you love. Be passionate about who you love. It's the only way.

we watch the seas rise so high

down in the valley

 

FOR WHATEVER WE LOSE (LIKE A YOU OR A ME) IT IS

ALWAYS OURSELVES WE FIND IN THE SEA

-e.e. cummings

Scuba

SCUBA - THE HOPE (official video) from Hotflush Recordings on Vimeo.

Normally, girl singers don't catch my interest, but this song is awesome.