dunes

   

These photos put me in a dreamy state. They remind me of the dunes near to where I grew up in central California. Props to Cuba Gallery for capturing these.

fathers tender kisses

 

(Source: her name is moon)

As I was on a boat back to Venice from a nearby island, I noticed a husband and wife with their two kids sitting near me. The husband either previously had an accident or developed a syndrome because he struggled to walk and could hardly maintain balance. His wife, while keeping an eye on the children, tenderly grasped his fragile arm helping him onto his seat. A few moments pass and I glance over to see them holding hands, smiling at each other. My heart melted at this moment. I cannot imagine their day to day challenges, but their love for each other and their family evidently makes them stronger. 

At the table next to theirs I noticed a middle-aged man holding close to his chest his sleeping two-year-old girl. She started to wake as we approached the dock and her father immediately embraced her and sprinkled her cheeks with sweet tender kisses. He rubbed his nose on her pink cheek and wiped the sweat from her damp forehead. I don't think I've ever seen a father express that much love to their little girl before. I couldn't help but notice his wedding ring was on his right ring finger.  What if he is a widower? What if when he looks at her he sees his wife? What if she is all he has in this world? 

What strong individuals! What examples they are!

This caused me to miss home and want to embrace and snuggle every single person I love. 

one more futterer

 

At the beginning of the summer Jeff and I packed up his car, picked up my grandfather, and headed up the mountain for a fishing/camping trip on the Kern River. Once the sun fell we huddled over the camp fire and the Sequoias were peering over us like quiet protectors.  I thought it was an appropriate time to ask him when he wanted to start a family, especially because I've been wanted to ask him this for years.  He calmly uttered, "Welp, when I've got the right girl and the timing is right," I responded with, "Well, I just think you'd make a wonderful father".

It's a fond memory of mine for many reasons, one of them being that, thorough recent knowledge, that will have been the last camping trip we'll take together without his family coming along with us. 

My uncle is having a baby and getting married to a beautiful person, inside and out. I beam with happiness just at the thought of him becoming a father and taking care of his own munchkin. He was a wonderful example to me and I'm forever in debt to his kindness and love, his child is eternally blessed to have him as a father. 

   Cutest fetus I've ever seen. 

He's a natural--that blanket currently resides on my bed.

Maybe, just maybe

I've been in Italy for just over a month now, living with a family and enjoying the quiet peace Tuscany brings to my soul. This quiet (when their 130 lb Great Dane isn't pouncing on me) encourages a lot of reading, reflection, some blank moments, and many pensive ones. The other day I had a bit of an awakening. I found myself reminiscing of High School; the experiences I had, the people I was friends with and those I was not, the people who judged me and those I judged. 

In these awkward pubescent four years of my life, I felt belittled and unrecognized for my qualities.  My boyfriend of the time would often comfort me with these words, "They just don't understand you". This was just one of the many things that justified my decision to live in misery. 

Even till this day my "no one understands me" attitude sticks with me like a leach on warm flesh. It has got to go! 

Maybe, just maybe, my High school experience sucked because I allowed it to. Maybe, just maybe, there was constant drama and tension in my home because I created it. 

Maybe, just maybe, I do not believe anyone understands me because I have not taken the time to understand them.

life aquatic

                                          Great scene, great song.

alive

 

“One day, as he slept in a cave, he dreamed that he saw his own body sleeping. He came out of the cave on the night of a new moon. The sky was clear, and he could see millions of stars. Then something happened inside of him that transformed his life forever. He looked at his hands, he felt his body, and he heard his own voice say. "I am made of light, I am made of stars."

He looked at the stars again, and he realized that it's not the stars that create the light, but rather the light that creates the stars. "Everything is made of light," he said, "and the space in-between isn't empty." And he knew that everything that exists is one living being, and that light is the messenger of life, because it is alive and contains all information.”

 Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

"So Lonesome"

barefoot

                        Photo by Christie Pham


Even when I was a kid, shoes were of little importance, especially when embarking on an adventure; being barefoot always took precedence over safety.  Sure, the whole "hippie" pizazz is quite the trend these days, but that is merely unrecognizable to a 4 year old. One of the many great things about living in Hawaii is the fact that being barefoot in public is widely accepted, unlike the rest of the world. In Italy, if you are barefoot in public, people being mildly confused is an understatement. Well, I'm sorry that I appreciate the simpler things in life, like the feeling of the warm pavement, grass, and sand beneath my feet.

HOME

Pizza night with the Futterers: sluggish grocery shopping, samples, appetizers aka caprese,  words of advice aka rambling on and on, red wine, talk of music, running out of cooking supplies, more red wine, Valero run for tinfoil, whitty jabs, frequent disagreements, hugs, and a ton of food.

HIPPIE LAW

moments

 TIME: Who really understands it? It is completely open to interpretation and everyone feels differently about it. Some fear growing old, some fear what tomorrow brings, and others fear the consequences of the past. The thing that people don't realize about time is that there is a lot of it. My aunt said "life is short so we have to make it seem really long." Embrace the time you have and the time you've spent living. Let the wrinkles fuse to your face because you've earned them.

TIMING: Timing is everything. Randomly running into an old friend who ends up getting you a job that leads you to your destined profession. Choosing to stop and get a Starbucks,then you see a car accident on the freeway that happened about ten minutes before. Every moment of everyday means something so before making a decision, think to yourself is now the right time?